Friday, April 22, 2011

An Easter Bunny Has Appeared!

I’ll admit it: I haven’t been feeling very well these past weeks and I think it will take a while before I will be fully ‘recovered’. I’ve been feeling very, very insecure lately. My official exams are coming up (16th of May – 27th of May) and I am incredibly nervous. But not only that, I’ve become very insecure about my appearance too. I absolutely hit rock bottom last February, when I, after weeks of crying and avoiding the mirror, fell into what I can best describe as a ‘panick attack’. I really didn’t know what to do and I hated myself so much I felt like the world wouldn’t care about me anymore. Luckily, those feelings are mostly gone, because of the wonderful care of my parents and one of my friends.

Last Monday, after finishing musiclessons, I walked outside of the school building. In front of the building, there was a group of five people chilling and smoking. Three guys, two girls. When I walked by, one of the guys whistled in the ‘fwee-fweet’-way, like when you do when you see a pretty girl. I ignored him, but couldn’t stop overthinking why he did that. Especially when one of the girls said something about ‘ugly’. I couldn’t help but think she was talking about me. I couldn’t imagine for one second that guy actually thought I was pretty…
I felt so awful that I wrote both an email to one of my friends and a message on Tumblr, just to write it off me. I received some wonderfully kind responds that really made me feel better (thank you so much again)! One of them gave an example of herself while wearing Lolita and that I have to feel more confident. She was right of course. ^^ I chose an outstanding fashion. I have to feel confident if I want to wear it and I do want to. So I chose to do something… odd.

Yesterday we had a little Eastercelebration at school. Nothing special, eating and a movie (The Hangover, can you believe it?). I wanted to wear something I felt confident in, so I decided to dress up in an outfit I really liked and combined it with… Easter Bunny ears!

Cherry Berry Bunny approves!

Yes, I’m a silly girl. Why did I do this?
Well, I just needed to feel happy again! And by wearing these outstanding ears I knew I would draw attention. But I totally didn’t care! I liked my outfit, I liked the ears for the occasion… Yes, I got strange looks, but quite some positive reactions as well! After a while, I totally forgot I was wearing them! These ears seriously made my day. And if such a stupid, small thing can make me happy, I know Lolita is definitely worth the trouble!

No Lolita-outfit yet, *sigh*. Unfortunately, the shirt made me look bigger than I am on this picture. XD But I finally noticed that my arms and legs are thinner! It’s finally hitting me..!

Happy Easter everyone!


  1. You are very cute. Perhaps that guy did think you were pretty! Don't despair! If his friends were talking down about you they might even have been jealous he was paying attention to you instead of them. Or maybe they were talking about something else.

    Not matter what you are wearing, unusual or not, remember you have gorgeous hair and lovely legs and people (boys) won't be able to help but notice.

  2. This was so nice to read, its lovely that something so small can make such a big difference! People can be so fickle and mean, pay no attention to them :)
    (And I feel your pain of exams, i've got mine around the same time too- yuck!)

  3. Hey sweety! <3
    You are abcolutely gorgeous girl!
    And You'll be totally ok again :) I'm always here for you ;) You know that :)

    And you are truly beautiful,
    Inside and out.
    There are a lot of people who notice that, I Hope that you'll notice it too :) You deserve to see your beauty!<3

    And the finals: We're gonna rock them, and pass them all :) We've got each other :)

    P.s. Love the picture you choose!

    LoveYou Girlie!<3

  4. You are cute! I don't see why you worry about your legs and arms, they look very good! And your hair is lovely.
    If you're afraid the shirt makes you look bigger, you could wear a belt around it to emphasize your waist. You can be as skinny as you want, but in ill-fitting clothing no one looks good (I mean in general, not about this outfit ;)
    Wearing bunny ears with Easter is a great and funny way to get used to being 'different'. I'm sure many people liked it ^^
    Oh, those terrible exams... Everyone worries about them, and in the end everyone passes. It'll be okay!

  5. I am so sorry that had to happen to you :( But it's good that you've learned how important self-confidence in lolita is- that's one of the most important lessons you can learn.

  6. @ Sara Star: Wow thank you! Of course I was thinking the worst scenario, but it just automatically happened... Wow, thank you so much for the compliments. I'm really flattered! <3

    @ Celeste Starlight: Thank you! ^^ Ouaaah, good luck!

    @ Nicoletteh: <<<<<3333333 you!

    @ Amoris: Thank you! =D

    @ Miss Lumpy: Thank you for commenting! <3 yes, it was a good experience. ^^

  7. It's normal to have this kind of troubles as society continues to tell us that to be pretty is the most important thing and that we're ugly to make us buy stuff.
    But the most important think is to love ourselves. Once someone says: a woman's best ornament is her self esteem. Infact I noticed that not so beautiful girls with high self esteem usually have more success than prettier girls that do not love themselves.