They’re Not Rules, They’re More Like Guidelines

A couple of days ago I was talking with my friend Nicolette on msn. Nico-chan is one of the few friends I actually tell Lolita-related things and show dresses to. Although I keep my Loli-obsession at a very low level outside of my safe, she actually knows some things about Lolita I never really tell my other friends (beside Tiana actually).
So the other day, we somehow got to the topic of the few Lolita items I own and in particular my dresses. Nico-chan asked me why I haven’t worn one of them. ‘Because I’m not sure I’ll fit into my Starry Night Theatre JSK the way I want to.’ I answered. She asked about my Baby’s JSK. ‘That one fits great.’ I said. She asked me why I don’t wear that one then. ‘Because I don’t own a blouse yet.’ was my short and simple answer.

Because I don’t own a blouse yet. To us Lolitas an answer like that is as clear as mineralwater. But to outsiders this must sound like a stupid reason. So you don’t have a blouse. Wear the dress without one, no big deal! To us, it’s just wrong. You can’t wear a jumperskirt without a blouse, that’s against the rules!

‘Really?’ Yes, I’m going that way: Lolita and the rules.
When you start out as a Lolita and you ask for advice, one of the first things you’ll find/hear is ‘Read the Lolita Handbook on LiveJournal. It tells you all about the fashion and the rules.’ The Lolitafashion is build up on a bunch of rules. Don’t show too much skin. Wear knee-high socks or over-the-knees. Wear a petticoat with the right shape. Make sure your petticoat isn’t showing. And ofcourse: always wear a blouse underneath a jumperskirt.
In the Lolita-world people seem to be divided about the whole concept of the rules. Many think they must be followed under any circumstances and won’t hesitate to tell other people about what they did wrong. Others consider them more like guidelines and feel free to experiment with colours and combinations. Whatever you consider the rules to be, your opinion will, most of the time, collide with the opinion of someone else.

Now, I cannot speak for other people, so I will restrict myself to my own opinion about the Rules of Lolita.

I like the rules.

Now hold on, before you move your cursor to the right corner of your screen to click the red ‘X’, let me finish!
When I first got interested in the fashion, I was overwhelmed by all the restrictions and things I had to remember so I wouldn’t fail. But you know what? Reading all those rules actually gave me some support! To me, the Lolita Handbook was exactly what it’s supposed to be: a guide for the beginning Lolita and although it’s written quite some time ago, I still recommend it to any newcomer in the fashion.
Now I’m way past the stage of big insecurity. You’ll never hear me say I’m a Loli-expert, but I do think I know a lot more than when I started. ‘So the rules aren’t necessary anymore for you?’ you ask. Maybe, maybe not. But like I said: I like the rules. I love the fact that you have to wear knee-socks/over-the-knees. I love the right shapes for petticoats. And I adore the blouse+jumperskirt-look!
I’m not the kind of girl to tell other people about where they went wrong. I might think it, I can’t help thinking, but saying? No, probably not. Who am I to ruin someone’s happy feelings about a coord by saying ‘You’re doing it wrong?’
But I’m also not the kind of person who disapproves of colouring outside of the lines. I love experimentation with Lolita and I’ve seen amazing results! But for now, it’s not for me yet. I’ll just stick the rules for as long as I want to and I like it. So waiting for a blouse it is.