Today I realised something. I am addicted. Not just to chocolate, which I unfortunately can only eat on Saturdays, but also to something else: the internet. Up until now, it didn’t bother me so much, since I know I am definitely not the only one. But lately I began to realise a thing that I didn’t like: we don’t get addicted, we are made addicted.
Let’s just start off with how I came to realise I was addicted. From the moment the computer arrived in our house, my younger brother and I loved it. We played simple games like the Lion King and Disney Villain’s Revenge. When I went to high school, my parents decided I really needed a computer of my own. My father always worked for computer companies and still does at this moment, so we got new computers with discounts. My brother eventually got one of his own too, as did my mom, so we all had our own computer and we didn’t have to think of the others. I managed to keep doing my homework, without getting distracted. But through the years, internet grew, as did my computerknowledge (of course nothing compared to my brother’s, who is a computergenius). My interest in the internet became bigger and I started spending more and more time on it. But that was nothing compared to a big moment in my life: I discovered Lolita.
Wow, didn’t that sound sinister for a moment? But I’m serious. Every day, when I come home from school, this is my routine: I put on the computer, check my blog, check my favorite blogs, check their favorite blogs, sometimes check their Tumblrs, check Angelic Poodle, egl_comm_sales, Daily Lolita, EGL, Closet Child, Angelic Pretty, Baby the Stars Shine Bright, Angelic Pretty Paris, Baby the Stars Shine Bright Paris and some of my favorite LiveJournals. This can take me more than an hour or even two! Even right now, I’m writing a blogentry, when I should be writing an assigment about a book I just read. Is this addiction? I think so. It certainly feels like it.
Now, you won’t ever hear me say that the internet is a bad thing. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that I can look at other Lolitas, talk to them and ask them questions. Without the internet, it would be nearly impossible to buy Lolitaclothing, unless you travelled to Japan.
But something hit me a couple of weeks ago. I came home from school and put on my computer to start doing my homework. Somehow, the internet was being annoying, working for five minutes to only throw me off again. I was panicking a little: I had so much to do! I decided to do the homework that didn’t require internet first, when I realised I didn’t have any! All my homework had to be done on the computer! Then it hit me: I’m not even 18 years old and I can already say ‘When I was younger, things were so much better!’ When I was “small”, teens didn’t have to write huge assigments, because the computer wasn’t a part of daily life yet. The internet actually changed my complete life. I work incredibly hard to keep up with my work and I almost never have free time. I can’t enjoy my holidays, because of homework. And in a way, it's the computer's fault: teachers give us big assigments, because we can type and look things up, but it still takes hours to do it! We have to use the internet more and more. I even have to go to a website to check my grades, without even having seen the test I made!
This is also the case with many other things. Commercials tell us to visit a website, banks make us take care of our money using the internet, jobs require computerskills. We have to develop ourselves! They make us addicted, we have to. We can’t stop. There is no way. We are forced to being addicted.
Wow, this turned out into a bit of a heavy entry. I hope it’s not too much..? Oh, I apologize for my bad painting skills on the picture. XD I just needed a Lolita with computermouses to add some love! <3